I’ve been thinking about this for a while now..
What is a personality? Does describing yourself in a few words, really explains who you are? Are we what we think we are? Or what we want to be?
Who am I really? And well, who are you?
It all started with a few sentences a yoga teacher read out alout a few months ago. We were laying down on the floor in the resting pose (Shavasana) after a long and tough viyasa flow lesson and this teacher was in the habit of telling us a little inspiring story coming from a little book while we were laying there. This time she told us, that in yoga we are all able to shake off every quality, self-made or named by others and that then our true soul really has a chance to emerge.
I went home that morning a bit confused. Because what was it, what she was really telling us? Could it be that I may not be the person I always thought I was..
And if that was the case, then who was I?
And so I began thinking..
I always described myself as a highly sensitive, sweet, sometimes insecure young woman who loves to write, create, care and travell. I think too much and I have the charecteristic of going to far in things I like and believe in. And when I went looking for examples for that describtion, I found a lot of them. So the doubt went away..
But it was just for a little while, because a few months later, I bought myself a Yoga Magazine and when I opened it, I immediately looked at an interview with a male yogi (yoga student). This interview really got my interest, so I started reading it. And there popped up this one question again…’Who are we when we shake off all the characteristics we, or others, describe ourselves/us with?’ The yogi answered that then our true selves would crop out and that we would realize that in fact we are all the same..
So I was, in fact, the same person as my neighbour? The same person as the bully in kindergarten? The same person as like, to go really crazy, George Bush? No no no. This was rubbish, trash, stupid words. Go away! Weird interview..
But the interview went further and I was to curious to not read it.. The yogi told the interviewer that first of all we are all human beings. Ok, I can agree with that one.. Second: we are all looking for love. Can be true, although I think some people don’t know what love is and I can’t imagine they are searching for it eighter.. But ok, maybe I was wrong, this could be something true.. And thirth we are all afraid of something.. Ok, this all could be true..but does this make me the same person as all the other people in this entire world?
I still can’t believe that, to be honest with you. If we were in fact all the same, why aren’t we falling in love by everyone we see then? This could not be just an appearance thing, because with some people I don’t even feel a connection, not even a tiny one. And why is it that we all like different things, if we would all be in fact the same?
But this all still started my brain working and made me think about the person I really am. If I take all the wishes, longings, describtions and expectations from others away, who is it I really am?
And this question still makes me think.. There is no simple answer to it, there is no happy end and maybe I will never even find an answer to it. But what I realized when thinking about all of this, is that I there is a need to let go of everything others expect of me. It is not who I am. And if these things are in fact a part of who I am, they will eventually happen. If it turn out to be they’re not, they don’t.
And about all the things I expect from myself..I try to free them a little. I do have dreams and I do have things I want to achieve in my life (we all have), but when I fail sometimes, that is not making me less me. And when I actually achieve things, that neighter makes me more me. I’m not a characteristic or a describtion, I’m not a couple of words which you can put together. I am a total package, bad and good things, I am me; an unique package. And so are you. Just make sure you never forget that.
And about what we have in common? Three little, but quite important and primary things. One: we are all human beings. Two: we are all looking for love. And three: we are all afraid of something.
And to me, these three things we have in common, are just enough, because to tell you a secret: I still like to see myself as an individual and that probably has it reasons too.